Are you happy?

Are you happy?
That's the question, i don't know why my feeling has been ups and downs lately
i fear of everything
afraid of changes, i know i need to take risk in order to achieve something better in my life.
and that changes gonna take place around next month, however, after few my best friends said that i'm better off like now, i feel that...
am i ready for that changes?
however, all the i know is that no matter what, I need to be ready for that changes
tangkil said changes is exciting
and hopefully it is so.....
and if i really couldn't handle the changes, i will try my best to survive!
i'm so so determined..
if others can do it, so do I
aza aza fighting!

Bored!

I'm so so so bored, i don't know why.
all my jobs are done and i've got nothing urgent to do...
i was like browsing fs the whole day and writing my blog

sigh i don't know why suddenly, i miss tw yesterday night
i was like hmmm...i really miss those moment, especially when we were in ds. the most unforgetable moment in my life....not first time to a lounge, however, 1st time in other things...falling in luv for example ya
i can't do that in my home country, i need to watch my attitude
i feel that it's so free and yet controlable!
i mean, i can control of myself and take care of myself
i really want to go back to tw
and i miss one particular person.....i really really miss him
i don't know why
he just crossed my mind, too bad we're continents apart and i think it's not gonna work out between us....but i still miss him

now i'm so sleepy even during working hours...
can't help it..............

Jealousy

i'm confused so so confused and yet i don't know what to do
so many problems especially family problems, it's not my own family but it's cousin's family problem. since i'm staying with them.
and i've rethink that i might out from this city....
i was inspired by Kelly Clarkson song, 'BREAKAWAY',
' take a risk, take a change and BREAKAWAY'.
since this things happened, i'm definetely 99% confirmed and make my decision.
At first, i'm still in dilemma, whether i should move or not...but now, i know the answer.
gosh, it's so hard to live with family, jealousy aroused.
i don't know why so many ppl in the house get jealous to me, especially my cousin.
oh come one, you are 9 years older than me, and you already have your own family, husband and a lovely child.
you have cars, jewelleries more than me...but why you still get jealous of me?
i don't have all of that...
i know i'm plump and chubby but it's none of your business whether i can get bf or not.
don't always say that i have high standard, and none of the high standard guys would like to date me.
hey come on, our soulmate is given from GOD, even you said so but if GOD permits, you don't have a say....
one thing, jealousy won't get you anywhere....
there's beginning for jealousy but no end for jealousy
keep that in mind
and jealousy is not sexy as what 'The Killers' sing....
if in a relationship, it might be sexy, but it's not when there's something behind the jealousy.
It's a bad thing, and you don't want that.

Plan

plan plan plan....
so many plans ahead, it makes me confused, what should i do with my life..
i have this plan a, plan b, but i don't know which one should i follow first...confused!
it also depends on my family too, whether we should buy new house or me move to sgp...
arrrgghh!!! i'm so confused, sgp the competition is very fierce, i'm afraid i can't cope with that..but my others friends can do it, so do I.
i need to be more optimistic....yeah...have to..
let's see lah...what will happen next year...
i'm so confused now!
so all i can do now is just living each day...and see what will happen next year..

I h a t e . . .

I h a t e pretenders
I h a t e backstabbers
I h a t e two-faced ppl
I h a t e people who drive as they wish without thinking of others in car
I h a t e people who don't say what hide their feelings
I h a t e people who is selfish
I h a t e people who don't care abt others, always do what's best for them without thinking of others

Why i write this.....
it just happened to me, i thought she was in the same boat with me, it turned out not so in the same boat, another leg in my boat and another one in another boat.....she's just............
i'm so speechless
i thought she's my friend
i thought she's loyal
it turned out no.........
well, u just can't predict ppl by how they looks.....
i thought she's naive...but she's two-faced and doesn't have the courage to say if she doesn't like it, always hide her feelings so that ppl will like her....
but deep inside she hates them! don't you think she's two-faced?
i just so so so so hate her at the moment

This is what we call...EFFORT

aaahh....i woke up at 4:45, well, actually my grandma woke me up so that i can start to jog at 5:00.
I DID...can i give my self a pat on the back..or it's too early? hehe..
then i jog around....i do sweat hehe...that's what important, right?
so i can lose that excessive weight of mine...
my mom even threatened me that if i don't lose weight in 2 months time around 5 kg, my mom will asks me to go back to her, asks me not to work, only to focus on losing weight
oh my!!!!!!!!!!
if she already said this thing, she will for sure do it too if i don't lose weight
that's why i'm serious this time!!! gosh!
wish me luck!

Bloody Local Bank

i was so pissed with one of the biggest local bank, actually they are the biggest.
their service is sucks
i've received their key for internet banking, however the staff forgot to activate the key, and it turned out that the paper with the original pin code, GONE
i don't know why, then i called the staff today and she said that maybe i'm the one who forgot the pin and they already activate it,....what de heck..bloody.............*******
then i said, if you already activate it, then what's the point of me calling you ya? then she said oh ya correct
ok then next is to call the call center, hopefully they can help me and yes, they did help me, they said i need to go to the main bank and exchange the key
damn i can't go out since i'm working and the main bank is quite far from the office
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......bloody idiot
i hate that bank however, it's the biggest bank and we use the bank for transaction only, even their interest for saving is the lowest, but it's convenient for banking transaction
damn.i'm still pissed up to now
i don't know when i'm going to exchange the key, ..maybe later on...darn